PMDD: My Journey to Diagnosis and my chemical menopause.

My Diagnosis and Journey

My Experience with PMDD

For years, I lived in a cycle of highs and lows, completely unaware that what I was experiencing wasn’t normal PMT. For three weeks of every month, I felt like I was walking through wet cement—pushing forward but constantly weighed down. I felt bogged down with bad moods, feeling sad, blah and blue all the time. Cancelling work, plans with friends and even trying not to see family. Getting out of bed, washed and dressed was exhausting and I tried to avoid it as much as possible.

Then, for one week, I’d feel unstoppable: energetic, productive, and optimistic. I ate well exercised, took the dogs out with no problems, went for lunches and met friends and loved work. Then that week would vanish, plunging me back into the darkness.

Recognising the Pattern

During week one of the cycle, I felt drained but forced myself to push through. Week two saw me cancelling plans, eating poorly, and retreating into sleep. By week three, I’d hit rock bottom. I’d cry over small things, feel utterly hopeless, and even have thoughts of self-harm.

A small comment on the school run put to my husband put things in place in my head and was a light bulb moment! I said whilst crying "I feel like i'm always due on!"

He replied with "thats because you are! 3 weeks out of 4 you are due on." It just hit me, suddenly I didn't feel quite so crazy, I thought it was just me that noticed.

Seeking Help (and Hitting Barriers)

Armed with this realisation, and hitting a bad week, the worst of the worst, crying at emails and cancelling clients all week. I went to the doctor to seek help. Like so many other women with PMDD, I was dismissed. I happened to visit during my “good week,” and the doctor told me, “You don’t look depressed; you seem a happy young lady.” She check in with the mental health quiz and went "Oh you have scored quite high but I don't think you have anything to worry about." I explained my cycle and she still didn't feel I needed help. I left leaving that appointment and I felt like a fraud. Like I was imagining it all, I started doubting my reality.

Myself and my hubby turned to Google, we believed I had PMDD, it was the first time we had heard of it, but it ticked every box, for the first time it all made sense, but without validation from a medical professional, I still doubted myself.

I tried alternative therapies, including Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), which helped for a time. But during lockdown, the darkness crept back in. I knew I needed more help.

The Turning Point

Just after lockdown we lost a close friend to suicide and this became the wake-up call I couldn’t ignore. I couldn’t continue living this way, stuck in this non-stop cycle with no let up. I knew I needed answers or risked going down the same devastating path.

Thankfully, I found a new doctor who truly listened. She recognised the symptoms of PMDD immediately. I finally felt heard and validated. After trying several treatments (limited by my history of aura migraines), I was eventually referred to a consultant who knew more about women's health and PMDD. This referral was life-changing.

Finding Relief Through Chemical Menopause

After a wait I went to see a consultant in Brentwood, He recommended a chemical menopause as a treatment option. This would help find out if it was PMDD or if it was a mental health issue that needed a different kind of help. We talked about other options and the ins and outs of the injection. He also outlined that the NHS wouldn't always fund it until there was an official diagnosis. Due to being in the right place and the right time I was able to pay for this myself.

The first injection, though expensive at £350, gave me three months of incredible relief. For the first time in years, I felt like myself again. For the first two weeks I did feel like a zombie, and was debating if I had done the right thing. After this though I got my life back. I was enjoying work, making plans with friends, going out. I was able to get back to fitness, good food and good times. It was 3 months of me and good vibes. (sounds cringy right!) At the end of the 3 months I went back to the Dr and he said I could continue with the chemical menopause with the add of HRT to make sure I looked after my body.

I continued with my chemical menopause for 18 months. I found after taking this for a while that it just wasn't lasting as long. I also felt I needed better HRT. The GP just didn't have enough knowledge about PMDD so I went private to have a consultation to help with my next step. I went to Springfield hospital in Essex to see a consultant that knew about menopause, PMDD and HRT after talking it through we agreed that a full hysterectomy would be my next step.

While the journey has been far from easy, it has given me my life back, I feel like me again, filled me with calm and helped my relationships with friends and family back.

Why Sharing My Story Matters

I’m one of the lucky ones. I found the right doctor, the right treatments, and a support system to guide me through. But so many women aren’t as fortunate. PMDD is still under-diagnosed and misunderstood, leaving countless women to suffer in silence, dismissed by doctors or unaware there’s even a name for what they’re experiencing.

Sharing my story is my way of breaking the silence. If even one woman recognises her symptoms and seeks help, it’s worth it. You don’t have to live in the darkness. There is help, there are treatments, and you deserve to feel better.

Let’s keep the conversation going about PMDD. Together, we can raise awareness, advocate for better understanding, and make sure no one feels invisible or without hope.